I love the New Year. Like a lot.
I always spend way too much time and energy putting together little charts and journals and planners, thinking that this will be the year that I get my stuff together. And every year, without fail, that is what happens.
Until about 10 am on New Year's day.
Then I slip and decided that, well, I messed up already, so I might as well give up. I'll try again next year.
Can you see how damaging that line of thought can be???
No wonder I'm so neurotic.....
So this year, I am determined to take it one day at a time and not fall into that trap again. We all make mistakes and slip up and go backwards. That is life, people! But the strength that you need to reach your goals and dreams lies in the ability to pick yourself up and get back on the horse. I could fail every day for the next month and still know that I'm making more progress in my life than if I were to just completely give up and sack out on the couch.
What kind of life would that be?
Well, I'll tell you.
It would be the same kind of life that I have lived over and over. Year after year. The hardest thing for me is to get over myself and give myself a break. We are not meant to be perfect. Everything happens for a reason and we need to understand that those hiccups and stumbles along the way actually teach us more than we might think.
They teach us to zig instead of zag. They teach us that, nope, that way of thinking won't work, so what can I try next? They teach us that, ok, well, maybe I am trying to focus on too many things at once. Let's pick one or two things out of this list of 57 things and work on those for now.
Trying to become perfect over night DOES. NOT. HAPPEN.
Becoming perfect is an absolute impossibility. And I think that we, as women, as mothers, as friends, might try to compare and rate ourselves against our peers. Let's stop that mmmmkay?
It's destructive. I know because I went through a tiny taste of that in my twenties (way back when, am I right? ;P)
All of my friends that I grew up with were married by the time they were 21. Know what I was doing when I was 21? Not dating. Not getting married. Not having children. Not much of anything that I considered important back then. As much as I denied it at the time, I really went to BYU-Idaho with the knowledge that I would find a husband and squirt out some kids by the time I was graduated. And although I had an incredible time and learned so much, that didn't happen.
There was something wrong with me, I knew it!
My love life consisted of one boyfriend.
One.
Uno.
And know what happened to that one boyfriend?
Well, let's just say that there was a VERY legitimate reason why he didn't want to marry me.
Or anyone of my gender.
Need I say more? ;)
So I wondered why I didn't get married. I wondered why all my friends were having these adorable little children and had husbands who adored them and were there for them. And I had my stuffed polar bear, Marshall. He got me through tough times. (Kisses fingers and raises them to the heavens).
Now I don't say any go this to elicit sympathy....just the opposite, actually.
I know my Heavenly Father had other plans for me.
I could almost hear Him leaning over and whispering in my ear, "Hang in there kiddo. I'm here. I know you. I know what you desire. I want you to be happy. But that doesn't mean that you will live a trial-less life. But I'm here. I see you. Give me a chance to bless you. Please have faith in my timing. All will be well."
And you know what? It is well.
And even if I had never been married (which I was actually resigned to when I met my husband. It's true what they say about it happening when you least expect it), I would have had to trust in God.
I have friends who are married.
I have friends who are unmarried.
I have friends who have children.
I have friends who have not been able to have children.
I have friends who are healthy.
I have friends who are sickly.
None of us will get through this life without trials and tests.
So lets stop comparing ourselves to others and putting ourselves down because our Pinterest inspired projects look like they were done by tiny elves on speed rather than by Martha Stewart.
And that is what I want to focus on this year.
Yes, I will probably fall once or twice.
I may even fail completely at something.
But it's all about getting up. Brushing off the dirt. Wiping the blood and sweat out of our eyes and saddling back up on that bucking bronco.
We have not truly failed until we have given up.
For those out there who may be close to that "giving up" point, PLEASE know that it will get better. One thing I know about life is that is sure doesn't always go the way you expect it to. And even if you get everything you think you may want to begin with, there is absolutely no guarantee that it will stay that way. I'm sure there are many people reading this blog right now who thought life was amazing and perfect, only to have something blind side them and cause them heartache and turmoil.
We were not meant to sail through life without getting one or two scars along the way. Remember who wanted us to come to earth and have a perfect life? Hint: It wasn't Jesus. It was the other guy. And we all know what happened to him.
So next time something goes wrong, please remember that tomorrow is a whole new day. Retreat a while to lick your wounds and then open that door, lift those bed covers, or put away the mint chocolate chip ice cream and stride out with a vengeance.
Because there is one person who is always there and wants us to be happy so badly. For every tear or swear word or anguished yell, He is there waiting to help. But we have to turn to him. We're not meant to travel this path alone. And the wonderful thing is that we never will be.
Pheeewwwwww........
Sorry, my soap box just kept rising with that one.
And the super terrifically funny thing is that I could sure take those words to heart too. Preaching to the choir. Wowza.
You are all abso-fricking-lutely beautiful. You are all good. You are all worth it. You are more than you think. You are children of God. He loves you. He knows you.
Well, here we are rounding out the first day of 2016. How're you doing with your resolutions? I'm doing well with some, not so good with others. But tomorrow is January 2, 2016. Know what that means? It's a NEW day! Why should it be any different than January 1? You can screw up every day. You can re-commit everyday. It's beautiful, really!
Ok, well, I should probably get off the computer and work on one of my resolutions. I'm starting the Beachbody PiYo exercise program tonight again. Woo me! So if you need something to make you laugh, just envision an overweight, red-headed woman trying to balance on her head while her leg is up and over her left shoulder (or something like that....).
I love you all. Seriously. Every single one of you. Please know that I am here to talk to or I can listen or whatever you may need. I am so far from perfect that it's laughable, but you don't need to be perfect to lend a little compassion to those around you.
2016, please be good to these people. I truly hope that each of you will achieve or receive all you desire, because each of you does deserve the best. But if it doesn't happen this year, just remember that our Heavenly Father is watching over us, even if we can't see Him. And if what you desire most doesn't happen in this life, then just think of the excitement and wonder you will feel when it happens in the next.
Happy New Year friends!
Let's make it a great day!
So apparently there are little men in my scale who are messing with me. It's not very funny. And if I ever catch any of them, they're going to wish they'd never been spawned from the depths of wherever they come from. I know they must be men, because no woman would ever do this to a fellow woman. And isn't it the norm that everything is the man's fault? I thought I heard that somewhere.....
In the immortal words of the really skinny, annoying chick on "Never Been Kissed", the hecka popular movie that came out when I turned 16 and the one that I subsequently rented on VHS (haha!) for my sweet sixteenth birthday and which stars the ever delicious Michael Vartan):
No joke friends! The last few days I've been emotionally eating because of the terrible results. But..... I am trying hard to not let it get me down for long. Considering I just wrote the post about picking ourselves up after disappointment, I know I need to move onward and upward. But then I go to do laundry today to fulfill one of my New Years Resolutions to have a cleaning schedule in place for everyday and after lugging my huge laundry basket across the complex through the slush and rain, I opened the door to the laundry room and ALL of the washing machines were in use. Are you #^@*(*$@(&(@#$*@(#)(%&@)($&@*#&!(%^(@*$&#(@*#& SERIOUS RIGHT NOW!!!!!!
This is also my ovulation week. Woo-freaking-hoo. And learning the knowledge of gaining almost 4 pounds in a week sure helps me feel attractive and in the baby making mood. NOT!!! (Which is another word that was popular while I was in school). Haha! 
Sorry about the complaining. I'm trying to get better at it. But I also feel like this is a place where I can speak my mind and not get judged. At least not to my knowledge, haha! We all have trials. That is what life is about. Hang in there, Kimberlee. You got this. 
But one last thing. If those little men screw with my scale again this week, I will personally take the opportunity to kick them in their tiny little private parts. In the immortal words of Obi-Wan Kenobi, in the crazy famous Star Wars movie, "A New Hope":
