Time to share

Hello friends!

Once again, I allowed too much time to pass between posts. But I'm blaming "time" itself. It just goes too quickly and for someone who is, by nature, a slow moving sloth, I've discovered that time is definitely NOT on my side.

Like right now: I not only have a sink full of dishes to do, but a KITCHEN FULL of dishes to do. I haven't mopped the kitchen floor in months and forget about me vacuuming the living room. I finally did get around to cleaning the toilet and sink in the bathroom, but still have to get to the shower, tub, mirror and floor. If you walked into my home right now, you would see piles of dirty laundry, an embarrassingly dirty couch, clutter piled on clutter and toys shoved in every free spot in the room. 

I also have a toddler climbing on my back as I try to type and a cat that thinks she's playing a game with me wherein she tears around the room and then launches herself on the desk where I am typing and tries to catch the cursor or mouse arrow until I get frustrated enough that I pick her up and throw her on the nearby couch. Only for her to tear off again and start the process all over again. So it's a wonder how I am even able to get these words out. 

And forget about it being the last day of February. Because I'm still on the second week in January in my mind. I think about the resolutions I set and think that I'm only a week behind. But then I glance at the calendar or notice the pretty pink flowers blooming on the tree outside the window and it suddenly crashes down on me that we're fast approaching spring and I am not a week behind as much as I am a MONTH behind. Good grief.

Speaking of resolutions, the New Year was full of enthusiasm and excitement for the future. I knew that 2016 was going to be a great year. And I guess it still could be, but since the end of January, it's been a little more devastating than refreshing.

For lots of little reasons, really.

But for one BIG one, too.

I had a miscarriage.

Wow, even now, almost a month after it happened, it's almost surreal to talk about. All the emotions and grief and just plain old anger have manifested themselves in some very strange ways. 

You probably all noticed that I stopped posting weight loss results. 

For good reason, right? I was pregnant, so technically, I shouldn't be trying to lose weight. Although I did continue to lose a little because I was trying to eat better for the baby. And my doctor said that would be fine, considering I am "morbidly obese". I just couldn't be TRYING to lose weight anymore. 

But I couldn't really announce anything because of the timeframe where miscarriage is more common is the first 12 weeks. 

So I didn't say anything and just talked about needing to take some time and that I would be back.

And here I am!

But without the baby announcements that most people look forward to.

It has been hard. I try to be strong and put on a brave, "it-happened-for-a-reason" face, but inside it's still a pretty raw emotion. There aren't many tears anymore though. It just quietly festers under a thin layer of denial and fear of being a burden or a downer to everyone.

I've only told a few friends and family. And I struggle even now to make it public for fear of starting a tidal wave of condolences and sympathies that I just don't have the energy to handle. I hope that doesn't offend anyone, because that is not my intent. I'm very grateful for everyone's kind words and support. It's just easier for me to say I'm doing ok and I don't need anything than give into the well of feelings inside of me. For example, I am one of those kinds of people who holds it together well until someone sweetly comes up, gives me a hug and asks how I'm doing. Then the waterworks begin and my vulnerability is gushing out like the geysers in Yellowstone Park. 

And I don't like feeling vulnerable. 

After almost six years of marriage, I still have a hard time allowing my husband to see me that way. So to put myself out like this is super hard.

But throughout all of this that has been happening, one thing has been a constant. I feel my Heavenly Father's love for me. I feel Him grieving with me. I don't know all the answers about how miscarriage is handled in the next life and if I will have the opportunity to raise the child there or not, but the comfort I have received from God has seriously been the best calming influence thus far. He has helped me feel that I am loved and has given me the best gift I could ask for at this point. 

Peace.

Even the day after it happened, when I was in shock and crying and wondering why this happened, I was filled with a peace and a testimony that everything was going to be ok.

And I believed Him.

That doesn't mean I still don't struggle. I still get a little weepy as I walk through department stores and see racks of baby clothes. I still feel a little twinge when I hear about friends getting pregnant. And I still wonder every so often whether it would have been a girl or a boy and what we would have named him/her. 

But the peace always sneaks back in, even if I want to wallow and "rent my clothes" and "gnash my teeth". And then I think about others who have gone through the same thing and I begin to feel humbled. 

One in four.

Those are the chances of having a miscarriage.

So think of all your friends and one out of every four of them potentially has lost a child that they never got to meet.

Another thing that helps is hearing and seeing how others have gone through the same thing and how they went on to have healthy babies, or even just the knowledge that I'm not alone. I never knew how many women go through this until it happened to me. And my heart breaks for each and every one of them. 

It was sad to think about miscarriage before it happened to me. But now, it's so much more than sad. 

Was it something I did?

Could I have prevented it?

Will it happen again?

And of course we all know the answers to those questions, but they are the natural thoughts when something happens like this. I went through a "my body betrayed me" time. I went through a "I bet it was because I need to lose weight" time. I went through a "I'm not doing this again" time. Soooooo many conflicting thoughts! 

For those out there who are part of the "One in Four" group, please know that you are loved! It is hard. It is heartbreaking. It is shattering. 

But there is peace to be had. 

I was only 6 weeks pregnant when I lost the baby. We hadn't heard a heartbeat, seen a sonogram, or even gotten an official due date yet. And I suffered like I did.

For those who heard the heartbeat, saw or felt the movement, had names picked out, had a due date and had told their loved ones, my heart ACHES for you. 

For those who have never had the joy of becoming pregnant and getting to see and do all those things, my heart and soul ACHES for you as well.

There is no easy answer. And there is no "appropriate" way to grieve. 

We each just do what we can to survive. 

The best thing we can do is to turn our hearts over to Heavenly Father for comfort and guidance. He sent Jesus Christ to atone for our sins. To suffer and die for us. And in those dark moments, please know that our Savior has felt the pain that is lancing through your body. 

I had far more emotional pain than physical during this time. And in some ways, emotional pain is more difficult because it sometimes feels like it will never heal, as most of our bodies do. And there are some things that will trigger a re-opening of the wounds in our spirits, and the hard part is that we can't tell when it will happen or what will cause it. 

Which is why is all the more important to rely on the peace that can come from knowing we have a Father in Heaven and Savior who love us and know us individually. 

I know I wasn't the only one weeping that day. And I know He continues to weep with me when times are hard. Just because these things happen, doesn't mean He doesn't love us. That's a hard lesson to learn, but through this experience, I cannot deny the love I have felt from Him. 

I am so grateful.

I will get through this. :)

Love is a very healing thing. And I feel it all around me.

That doesn't mean I won't have days or weeks like I've had recently. Where I have to tend to the emotional pain by simply being gentle with myself and giving myself a break when I feed my kid goldfish, chocolate milk and pop tarts for breakfast instead of a well balanced meal. Or if he goes pants-less all day. Or if my house looks like a tornado hit it and I decide to sit and watch episodes of Fixer Upper instead of actually fixing up my own home. 

I know my posts seem rambling sometimes and maybe a little dull, but I hope that you all know how much I appreciate your love. I can feel it in something as simple as you reading this. I sincerely hope I haven't offended anyone or made anyone uncomfortable. I intentionally left out the details of that day, but if anyone thinks it will help them in their own healing, please message me privately and I will share more. 

You are all in my mind and heart everyday and I think writing this has been a very cathartic practice for me. Thank you for letting me share it with you.

<3

Let's make it a great day!

Do you remember me?

Hello friends. I can't begin to apologize enough for my abrupt and lengthy absence these last weeks. Has my life been crazy? Um, yes. Have I withdrawn and tried to hide from those around me? Yep. Do I feel sorry I did so? Most of the time, yes. I can't believe it's only been 5 weeks since I last talked to you all. It feels like a life time. And what a 5 weeks it has been. Allow me to catch you up on the life of the Reed Family.

As most of you know, my husband, Shon, has been working on applying to optometry school for this fall. He applied to a handful of schools including Pacific here in Forest Grove and Southern College of Optometry in Memphis, TN. He received invitations to interview with all of the schools, but because of finances, he chose Pacific and only one other school, SCO. 

He was supposed to interview with SCO in mid December. I drove him to the airport, dropped him off with a kiss and a hug and headed home. As I was shopping at Winco, I got a text from him saying the flight had been cancelled because of a huge blizzard in his layover city, Denver. So back to the airport to pick him up. He rescheduled for mid January.

Mid January came. I drove him to the airport, dropped him off with a kiss and a hug and headed home. As I was (again) shopping at Winco, I got a text from him saying that the second leg of his flight was delayed for like 12 hours because of that huge blizzard that hit the east coast a few weeks back. So he had two choices. Fly to Atlanta and hope and pray that the flight from there to Memphis would not be cancelled, or come back home and reschedule yet again. He decided to cancel again, since there was no guarantee that he would be able to fly out of Atlanta until after the storm waned. Which could have been two days. I mean, not only would he be stuck in Atlanta for two days with nothing to do, but then he would also miss the interview anyway. So I headed (AGAIN) back to the airport to pick him up. He rescheduled for early February.

Now a lot of people (including me) would take this as a sign that maybe it wasn't meant to be. But then Shon said something that made me think. He said, "Yeah, it could be a sign that it's not meant to be, or it could be Satan working against what IS meant to be. Do I give up and never know what
could have been? Or do I try all the harder to get it done?" I guess I was focusing more on the negative, while he was determined to fight to the end. Pretty much a super condensed description of our lives. His final thoughts on the matter? "Third time is a charm."

The best thing I took away from these experiences was that I quickly became able to drive to the Portland Airport without using my GPS. I felt like a true Oregonian for the first time! Big deal, for sure!! 

Meanwhile, he had his interview with Pacific the Friday before his interview with SCO. That day was pretty much same old stuff for me. Of course, I thought about him a lot and shot him sweet little texts throughout the day, hoping he was doing well and sending cyber kisses. He got home thinking that he bombed the interview. I, of course, told him I'm sure he did fine and that it always seems like you did worse than you actually did. I was sure he had it in the bag. He said that the snot and junk running down his throat and out of his nose was probably not an attractive background for answering questions. I told him to stop being ridiculous. If anything, it would invoke sympathy in the interview panel. Haha! But seriously, all of us were sick that week and it hit Shon much worse than the rest of us. So he really did have the snot. But I swear this man can make mucus and phlegm look charming. Especially in a three piece suit. Wowza.....  

So early February came around and you can bet that our attention was on the weather around the country as the flight neared. So I drove him to the airport, dropped him off with a kiss and a hug and hovered close to the area for a while. And even though he had his layover in Minneapolis, he did not encounter any diverse weather! Woohoo! He got to Memphis and I was finally able to finish a shopping trip to Winco! Success!!!

Interview day went really well for him. Back home was kind of another story. Donovan was missing his daddy. :( The worst was when I found him sitting at the top of the stairs crying and saying, "Daddy home? Daddy airplane?" I had to keep explaining to him that daddy wasn't home, but would be soon. He had just gone on an airplane. We Face Timed daddy a lot in those two days. It made me all the more thankful for Shon and his help and presence here in the house. And seeing how Donovan missed him was heartbreaking and sweet at the same time. Hopefully there won't be a whole lot of moments when Shon has to be away for more than a few hours again. 

He felt a lot better about his interview with SCO. He loved the campus and the people. Everyone is so nice in the south and easy going. Everything was super chill, which appeals to Shon and his own calm demeanor. 

So that is where we sit. 

I will do more posts explaining some other happenings in the Reed Family a little later. Don't want to overwhelm everyone with 5 weeks worth of info all at once. :) 

Our future is unknown. That's a little scary for me, but hardly unique. We've been there before. Where we wonder where we'll be in 6 months. I know that whatever our family decides, that it will not be a decision made without careful thought and prayer. This decision is life changing and we need to make sure we've taken the time to consider as much as we can. I know there are no guarantees regardless of all of our research and thought. But we will cross any bridges as we come to them. 

Stay tuned for some more updates.

Love to all!

Let's make today a great day!

I need a new scale apparently..... Week 9 Weight Results

So apparently there are little men in my scale who are messing with me. It's not very funny. And if I ever catch any of them, they're going to wish they'd never been spawned from the depths of wherever they come from. I know they must be men, because no woman would ever do this to a fellow woman. And isn't it the norm that everything is the man's fault? I thought I heard that somewhere.....

Any who, let's get right to it. My weight results pretty much sucked. Although, I don't see how I could have gained as much as the scale (or the men in the scale) told me. Granted, it wasn't the best of weeks, but this is ri-donk-ulous!!! 

Current weight: 256.8 lbs.

Weight GAINED this week: 3.7 lbs. (seriously???) 

Total weight lost: 8.6 lbs.

In the immortal words of the really skinny, annoying chick on "Never Been Kissed", the hecka popular movie that came out when I turned 16 and the one that I subsequently rented on VHS (haha!) for my sweet sixteenth birthday and which stars the ever delicious Michael Vartan):

"Just water and ex-lax till prom!"

No joke friends! The last few days I've been emotionally eating because of the terrible results. But..... I am trying hard to not let it get me down for long. Considering I just wrote the post about picking ourselves up after disappointment, I know I need to move onward and upward. But then I go to do laundry today to fulfill one of my New Years Resolutions to have a cleaning schedule in place for everyday and after lugging my huge laundry basket across the complex through the slush and rain, I opened the door to the laundry room and ALL of the washing machines were in use. Are you #^@*(*$@(&(@#$*@(#)(%&@)($&@*#&!(%^(@*$&#(@*#& SERIOUS RIGHT NOW!!!!!!

So naturally, I had to come back home and eat two big handfuls of coconut toffee glazed peanuts. 

Because I'm pretty sure that's the cure all for whatever might be ailing you. 

But then, of course, I'm feeling guilty and wondering if I can get away with having water with a side of ice for dinner.....

So this week may be difficult too. I love the winter and the cool weather, but it's true what they say. The constant darkness and dreariness can be very depressing. So if you are a fellow seasonal depressive person, I feel you and sympathize with you. Only like 2.5 months till spring. We can do this!! 

This is also my ovulation week. Woo-freaking-hoo. And learning the knowledge of gaining almost 4 pounds in a week sure helps me feel attractive and in the baby making mood. NOT!!! (Which is another word that was popular while I was in school). Haha! 

Sorry about the complaining. I'm trying to get better at it. But I also feel like this is a place where I can speak my mind and not get judged. At least not to my knowledge, haha! We all have trials. That is what life is about. Hang in there, Kimberlee. You got this. 

Ok, so I'm picking myself up and brushing off the dirt and poop and jumping back in the saddle. I vented, complained, boo-hooed and now I'm moving forward. :)

But one last thing. If those little men screw with my scale again this week, I will personally take the opportunity to kick them in their tiny little private parts. In the immortal words of Obi-Wan Kenobi, in the crazy famous Star Wars movie, "A New Hope":

"I felt a great disturbance in the Force, as if millions of voices suddenly cried out in terror and were suddenly silenced."

That's right. I'm talking to you, you tiny little poop heads! STOP MESSING WITH THE SCALE!!!

I guess, I mean, it could be that the scale is just faulty, but that's not as fun to think about, am I right? 

Let's make it a great day!

2016, please be good to us all!

I love the New Year. Like a lot. 

I always spend way too much time and energy putting together little charts and journals and planners, thinking that this will be the year that I get my stuff together. And every year, without fail, that is what happens.

Until about 10 am on New Year's day. 

Then I slip and decided that, well, I messed up already, so I might as well give up. I'll try again next year. 

Can you see how damaging that line of thought can be??? 

No wonder I'm so neurotic.....

So this year, I am determined to take it one day at a time and not fall into that trap again. We all make mistakes and slip up and go backwards. That is life, people! But the strength that you need to reach your goals and dreams lies in the ability to pick yourself up and get back on the horse. I could fail every day for the next month and still know that I'm making more progress in my life than if I were to just completely give up and sack out on the couch. 

What kind of life would that be?

Well, I'll tell you. 

It would be the same kind of life that I have lived over and over. Year after year. The hardest thing for me is to get over myself and give myself a break. We are not meant to be perfect. Everything happens for a reason and we need to understand that those hiccups and stumbles along the way actually teach us more than we might think. 

They teach us to zig instead of zag. They teach us that, nope, that way of thinking won't work, so what can I try next? They teach us that, ok, well, maybe I am trying to focus on too many things at once. Let's pick one or two things out of this list of 57 things and work on those for now. 

Trying to become perfect over night DOES. NOT. HAPPEN. 

Becoming perfect is an absolute impossibility. And I think that we, as women, as mothers, as friends, might try to compare and rate ourselves against our peers. Let's stop that mmmmkay?

It's destructive. I know because I went through a tiny taste of that in my twenties (way back when, am I right? ;P)

All of my friends that I grew up with were married by the time they were 21. Know what I was doing when I was 21? Not dating. Not getting married. Not having children. Not much of anything that I considered important back then. As much as I denied it at the time, I really went to BYU-Idaho with the knowledge that I would find a husband and squirt out some kids by the time I was graduated. And although I had an incredible time and learned so much, that didn't happen.

There was something wrong with me, I knew it! 

My love life consisted of one boyfriend. 

One.

Uno.

And know what happened to that one boyfriend?

Well, let's just say that there was a VERY legitimate reason why he didn't want to marry me. 

Or anyone of my gender. 

Need I say more? ;)

So I wondered why I didn't get married. I wondered why all my friends were having these adorable little children and had husbands who adored them and were there for them. And I had my stuffed polar bear, Marshall. He got me through tough times. (Kisses fingers and raises them to the heavens).

Now I don't say any go this to elicit sympathy....just the opposite, actually.

I know my Heavenly Father had other plans for me. 

I could almost hear Him leaning over and whispering in my ear, "Hang in there kiddo. I'm here. I know you. I know what you desire. I want you to be happy. But that doesn't mean that you will live a trial-less life. But I'm here. I see you. Give me a chance to bless you. Please have faith in my timing. All will be well."

And you know what? It is well. 

And even if I had never been married (which I was actually resigned to when I met my husband. It's true what they say about it happening when you least expect it), I would have had to trust in God. 

I have friends who are married.

I have friends who are unmarried.

I have friends who have children.

I have friends who have not been able to have children.

I have friends who are healthy.

I have friends who are sickly.

None of us will get through this life without trials and tests. 

So lets stop comparing ourselves to others and putting ourselves down because our Pinterest inspired projects look like they were done by tiny elves on speed rather than by Martha Stewart.

And that is what I want to focus on this year. 

Yes, I will probably fall once or twice.

I may even fail completely at something.

But it's all about getting up. Brushing off the dirt. Wiping the blood and sweat out of our eyes and saddling back up on that bucking bronco. 

We have not truly failed until we have given up.

For those out there who may be close to that "giving up" point, PLEASE know that it will get better. One thing I know about life is that is sure doesn't always go the way you expect it to. And even if you get everything you think you may want to begin with, there is absolutely no guarantee that it will stay that way. I'm sure there are many people reading this blog right now who thought life was amazing and perfect, only to have something blind side them and cause them heartache and turmoil. 

We were not meant to sail through life without getting one or two scars along the way. Remember who wanted us to come to earth and have a perfect life? Hint: It wasn't Jesus. It was the other guy. And we all know what happened to him. 

So next time something goes wrong, please remember that tomorrow is a whole new day. Retreat a while to lick your wounds and then open that door, lift those bed covers, or put away the mint chocolate chip ice cream and stride out with a vengeance.

Because there is one person who is always there and wants us to be happy so badly. For every tear or swear word or anguished yell, He is there waiting to help. But we have to turn to him. We're not meant to travel this path alone. And the wonderful thing is that we never will be. 

Pheeewwwwww........

Sorry, my soap box just kept rising with that one.

And the super terrifically funny thing is that I could sure take those words to heart too. Preaching to the choir. Wowza.

You are all abso-fricking-lutely beautiful. You are all good. You are all worth it. You are more than you think. You are children of God. He loves you. He knows you. 

Well, here we are rounding out the first day of 2016. How're you doing with your resolutions? I'm doing well with some, not so good with others. But tomorrow is January 2, 2016. Know what that means? It's a NEW day! Why should it be any different than January 1? You can screw up every day. You can re-commit everyday. It's beautiful, really!

Ok, well, I should probably get off the computer and work on one of my resolutions. I'm starting the Beachbody PiYo exercise program tonight again. Woo me! So if you need something to make you laugh, just envision an overweight, red-headed woman trying to balance on her head while her leg is up and over her left shoulder (or something like that....).

I love you all. Seriously. Every single one of you. Please know that I am here to talk to or I can listen or whatever you may need. I am so far from perfect that it's laughable, but you don't need to be perfect to lend a little compassion to those around you.

2016, please be good to these people. I truly hope that each of you will achieve or receive all you desire, because each of you does deserve the best. But if it doesn't happen this year, just remember that our Heavenly Father is watching over us, even if we can't see Him. And if what you desire most doesn't happen in this life, then just think of the excitement and wonder you will feel when it happens in the next. 

Happy New Year friends!

Let's make it a great day!

100 Day Goal Challenge

Here's a quick post for those who are wanting to participate in this 100 Day Goal Challenge. It starts on January 1st, so there isn't a lot of time to decide what you want to work on. I have linked all the paperwork and Facebook page if you want to check it out. It can literally be ANYTHING that you want to work on. The point is to master one thing in your life, or you can play with it a little and work on a few things. It might seem overwhelming, but just remember you are doing this for you. You do not have to account for it to anyone. So go at your own pace. The important thing to remember is not to give up. I have about a hundred ideas that I want to work on, but I have to limit it to a couple because I know that I won't be able to throw myself into that many new "projects". I plan on continuing this process throughout the entire year. That's three and a half times. And it only takes 21 days (the experts say) to create a habit. So by the end of the year, I should be a master of a whole lotta things, right? Haha! Probably not. But I should be further in my progress, for sure. I will not delude myself to think that I will be successful in everything I work on, but I will consider it a personal success if I can improve on just three things this year. I want this year to be amazing! And in order for that to happen, I have to start from somewhere and move forward, taking the bad days with the good. I learned a lot in 2015, about myself and those around me. I have a lot to work on. Life is a constant battle, but I intend to take it with a force I have not put forth in the past. Let's make 2016 the best year yet!!! We can do this!!

100 Day Goal Workbook

Master Action List

Weekly Action List

Daily To Do List

Journal Template

Official Group Facebook Page

Kimberlee's Facebook Page

WHERE HAVE I BEEN???? And weight results for the last two weeks (weeks 7 and 8)

Hello again all! I am still alive!

Sorry it's been so long since I posted. I've had my parents staying with us for a week and I was desperately finishing up cleaning and organizing last Monday night before they got here. I just couldn't stop and post my weight results.

So here I am tonight, posting two weeks worth. I'll probably be doing a post "dump" at some time this week, because I have a lot of things I want to talk about. Of course, it all depends on how this week goes. I can't promise anything, really. Haha!

I for sure will be doing a post about seeing the new Star Wars. I'll make sure I label it with spoiler warnings, although, I don't plan on going into too much detail. If you're looking for huge spoilers, the internet has them all. I read them. Before I even went to the movie. I'm just that kind of person. Gotta know what I'm getting myself into before I commit. That is something my husband does not understand about me. He and I really are opposite in so many ways. But you know what they say: "Opposites attract." And in our case, that is very true. :)

A Christmas post will also be coming, along with updates on my depression and physical health. I will also be creating a Facebook page and Blog post about the 100 Day Challenge that I briefly touched on a while back. So please stand by! I want to try to bust one out every night. But once again, I can't guarantee it will be every night.

So here are my weight results. I did weigh myself last week (week 7) and those results are:

Current weight: 255.5 lbs.

Weight lost this week: 2.0 lbs.

Total weight lost: 9.9 lbs.

SO, SO, SO close to the 10 pound mark. Gah!!!! And with Christmas being this last week, I was in despair. Because, let's face it. The good eats are what make Christmas day so much fun! At least when my mom is around, because she makes THE BEST food! Mmmmmm.....

So I was super nervous when I stood on the scale this morning. Like, I didn't even want to look down. Oh! And my period started the day after Christmas, and for all those who keep track, that is not usually the time you want to weight yourself because you always seem to be like 52 pounds heavier for that week. And your hormones are tormenting you and telling you that you suck because you didn't happen to make a baby, which is what the body wants. And if you don't give the body what it wants, it will GUT you. No joke! Anyway, I digress.

So this morning; I stepped on the scale, took a deep breath and looked down. Here is what I saw (week 8):

Current weight: 253.1 lbs.

Weight lost this week: 2.4 lbs.

Total weight lost: 12.3 lbs.

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Um, WHAT??!?!?!?

How is that possible???

I mean, HAM, GREEN BEAN CASSEROLE, POTATOES, COOKIES, BAKED CINNAMON ROLL FRENCH TOAST, MORE COOKIES, CANDY, etc.

But I wasn't going to argue.

I was so happy, it was all I could do to not dance a little gig right there, standing naked in the bathroom!!!!

I hit the 10 pound mark and flew right past it!

Yay!
YAY!
YAY!

I'm going to bask and enjoy, but not put my guard down for a moment. I am almost out of the 250's, and I don't want to ever be there again.

I am so ready for the new year! I want to start doing my Jillian Michael's again and I think the weight will really fly off then. At least I hope so! I also have a sleep study appointment at the end of February to see if I have Sleep Apnea. I would love to go to that appointment being at LEAST 20 pounds lighter than when I started. By this time next year, I want to be 200 pounds or less. Then in 2017, I want to pound out the last 40 pounds of stubborn "jiggle" that clings to my nether regions. Of course, if I do get pregnant, that will have to be put on hold for a while. But being my weight, my OB said that I could still have a healthy baby if I only gain like 15 pounds (at the most), so that' my goal. Gaining no more than 15 pounds while I'm pregnant. It shouldn't be too hard. But that's a hurdle and discussion for another time.

I'm going to end this post now, because I am tired and 8:30 is my bedtime. :) Thank you all for hanging in there and listening and not giving up on me. I am far from perfect when it comes to this blog, but it has seriously been one of the best things to help me in my healing. And it's because of all of you! Love you all!

Hope you all had a great holiday!

And have a HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Let's make it a great day!

Reed Family Christmas Letter and Card 2015

Merry Christmas!

We sent out the cards to family today, but we couldn't afford to print enough for all our friends too. So I decided to post everything here for your enjoyment. We love you all! 

The Reed Family’s 

Top 10 Moments of 2015

10. We have a new member of the family who joined us in early November. Kya, our new kitten, has brought so much joy and fun into our lives! And Donovan really loves her. Sometimes too much! We’re still working on being gentle with her. But she is a trooper and such a good kitty! We love her!

9. Donovan has his first girlfriend this year. Her name is Chloe and she is a doll! She is the daughter of an old coworker and great friend, Katie. Katie and I were pregnant together when we worked at the bank and Chloe was born about a month and a half before Donovan. And they LOVE each other! It’s the cutest thing! She was his first kiss too! We’ll have to keep an eye on them in the future. 

8. Shon is no longer working at the eye clinic he was earlier this year. The doctor decided, without any notice, to shut down the office in mid October. So since then, Shon has not had to work on Saturdays and I think he’s enjoyed having the time at home and actually feeling like he has a weekend again. He will begin to look for another job at the beginning of the year, since he will be done with school by then.

7. Donovan continues to impress us with his toddler ninja skills. How this kid can climb the walls is a mystery to me, yet he can. He loves turning light switches on and off and we’ve had to put up anything with buttons of any kind so that they are out of his reach. Yet his aforementioned ninja skills have helped him thwart even those plans at times. We need to get this kid into some kind of martial arts class. No joke.

6. Kimberlee is still enjoying her stay at home mom job….most days. There have been challenges that have cropped up this year that have made it harder to find the joy in the little everyday things. But she is working toward finding a common ground between all out psychosis and zen like calmness. It’s a work in progress. 

5. Kimberlee started a blog about her journey through depression and anxiety. It has been a very cathartic activity for her. There have been a lot of sad, overwhelming moments this year, but with the help of the blog, the right drugs, our new kitten, Kya, and Weight Watchers, Kimberlee is well on her way to the joy and happiness that is there for the taking. We thank you all for your continued support and encouragement in this area. If you would like to read about Kimberlee’s journey, her website is kreedindeed.blogspot.com. 

4. We celebrated our fifth wedding anniversary this year as well. Five years! Wow! Sure doesn’t seem that long. We had dinner at Sonic (our totally cool anniversary tradition) with our rambunctious toddler in tow. It would have been more fun to spend it in Hawaii without the rambunctious toddler, but this was nice too. 

3. And, surprise, surprise, we are still in Primary!!! However, they made a change again and we no longer teach together. Shon is a team teacher for the CTR 7 class and Kimberlee is a team teacher for the Valiant 8 class. We are both in senior primary, which is nice. We can at least wink at each other from across the room, even if we can’t sit by each other.

2. Donovan turned the “terrible” two this year. We weren’t able to go to Spokane, so Spokane came to us (in a way). Both sets of grandparents were able to visit around his birthday, which was so neat! We loved having them here. We visited the Oregon Zoo with family and a few friends and I think they all had fun! Good times!

1. And the most exciting thing that has happened to the Reed family this year is that Shon has graduated from Pacific University with a Bachelor’s Degree in Public Health! He is in the process of applying and interviewing at Optometry Schools, but we are crossing our fingers that we’ll get to stay and have him study here at Pacific’s School of Optometry. He will start in the fall of 2016 and will be the class of 2020, which is poetic in a way. We are grateful for his hard work and his willingness to sacrifice for his family. We love him so much!             

And so we look forward to what the coming year has in store for us. Here’s hoping that we all have a wonderful New Year! 

Bring on 2016!